30-31 months.

beckett,
your sister was born 1 day before your 30th month birthday. this month was so extremely crazy, different and you just transitioned perfectly, like always.  grandma came into town a week before sister was born, hoping you would get adjusted to her so, she could watch you while we were in the hospital. you loved her and had so much fun with her, i think you wore her out though. shhh.
on November 5, 2012, your sister, wren ralee, was born and you loved her from the moment you saw her. you came up to the hospital the first evening. she was born at 3:58pm and you came up around 4:45pm. you walked in the room and said hi mommy and came over and wanted me to hold you. so, you crawled up in the bed with me and wren and you just looked at her and then gave her a kiss. you smiled. the dr then took her to do an exam and you just watched intently at everything he did to her. he rolled her over and she started to cry and your eyes got so big, you didn't know what to think.  she brought you a present. a deluxe mr. potato head. you were in heaven with that. you thought it i was so cool.
the next day you came up to the hospital and i missed you so much. that was the first night i had ever been away from you. i didn't like being away from you, i was ready to just bring her home. when you got there, you wanted to crawl up in the bed again and hold her. you just took to holding her so well. it was such a sweet thing to witness. i love that you love her, it is just so cool.

things i don't want to forget.

• how you can totally catch a ball
• how you say "that's enough" in the right context
• you got your first ear infection, you were saying "owe" one morning and pulling at your ear. i took you to the dr that day and sure enough. she said you needed antibiotics and i was so sad to have to put you on them. you have never really been sick and never had an ear infection. i felt like somehow it was my fault and that i had failed you. i was so sad. the dr gave you a popsicle and you opened and said aww so she could check your throat.  over the next few days, i felt so bad for you. you ate a ton of popsicles and eventually started taking your antibiotics like a big boy. you are so resilient, you got well quick.
• you can effectively blow your nose (awesome, no more booger sucker)
• you say, "i diagnosis," "special assignment"
• you said, "i love you sister" in the sweetest voice one night
• you act like it's no big deal we have wren. like it's always been this way
• you love on her all the time. although, you don't realize how heavy handed you are with her, you mean well.
• how big you look compared to wren
• they way you say wren
• you like to help with her pacie and get diapers and you want to do it all by yourself
• when she is crying, the way you say, "it's ok wren" or "wren, it's ok," and "don't cry sister."
• you say "ta da"
• how if someone ask you something you don't know, you say, "i don't know" in such a funny way
• you say, "i wanna hold her" you hold her for a bit and then you are done. you say, "done" and kind of just let go of her
• when i have the breast pump out, you always want to put it on
• one night you gave everyone a kiss good night and started to walk downstairs and the remembered and said, "i need to kiss sister."
• you get in her bassinet and act like a baby and you think it is so funny
• you loved trick or treating. we went downtown for your first halloween stroll, you absolutely loved it. you would just go up to the shops and say "trick or treat" and then you wanted to sit on every bench you saw and eat a piece of candy. your dad and i just had a blast watching you grow up right before our eyes. seeing is i was almost 40 weeks pregnant with your sister, i was exhausted after an hour and half of walking and bending down to help you and carrying you back to the car. i thought i was going to go into labor that night from all the walking. no. your father and i soaked in the last little bit of the family of three and you being an only child. we all had so much fun. 
• you do this funny frankenstein walk. you sort of hunch over and swing your arms and walk with stiff legs. with this funny face

thank you for being so kind to your sister. you have made the transition so easy. i love you to the moon and back.

welcome wren raelee.

dear wren,
we decided to induce on november 5, 2102 because there was somewhat of a concern that my placenta would stop functioning.  i was really nervous considering how tough your brother was on me. meme got her the day before and grandma was here the week before to help with your brother. the morning of the 5th, we went to the hospital at 6:00 a.m. on the 5th. they started all my IV and placed the cytotech pill to continue the preparation process. i was dilated to almost a 2cm and 90% effaced when we started.  the next few hours were pretty good. i was having minor contractions and was able to walk and get in the spa tub and roll back and forth on the exercise ball. dr mary bowman came in and broke my water around 10:30 a.m.  for some reason, this one really hurt as compared to your brother. there wasn't a real gush of water. your head was acting like a plug. i was really anxious to get the epidural because i had waited so long on your brother but i continued to wait. your dad and i walked the halls and over the next few hours my contractions began to get a lot tougher. i remember walking down the hall and having to stop to breathe and i slightly began to cry and your dad said, "whats wrong?" i just felt so overwhelmed.  remembering how hard your brother was on me, i didn't want to go through that/this again.  it only lasted a few moments because i knew there was no choice in the matter. i got back to the room and decided to take another bath. after i got out, i decided to get the epidural for fear of waiting too long again. it was around 2:00pm and i was dilated to almost a 6cm and 100% effaced.  the nurse tried to start me on fluids and my line blew. so she was scrambling to get another IV started and had the hardest time. it was a little crazy. then the anesthesiologist came in and the nurse finally got the IV fluids started. the dr placed my epidural and i remember a very sharp electric shock down my right leg. it sort of scared me but the dr reassured me it was fine. it took her about 10 minutes to get everything in and going. i definitely had some relief from the contractions but not complete. once i had to lie down, you decided to put your butt or a foot right in my ribs. i couldn't breathe the whole rest of the delivery. i was so uncomfortable. i still had to breathe through my contractions. i assume the epidural didn't take full affect. i dilated quickly after that. at 3:30pm the nurse checked me,  i was dilated to 10cm and 100% effaced. it was time. i was so nervous i was going to have to push for almost 4 hours again. she told me to push with the next contraction to see how far i could bring you down. so with the next contraction i did and she said ok again with the next contraction push, so i did. she then said ok stop. i need to call the dr.  i didn't really push the next 9 minutes or so but i wanted to.  dr bowman walked in and asked the nurse if she should scrub up and the nurse said, "yes, you better." once the dr entered the room, i asked if i could push again, she said, "of course, go right ahead." i pushed through three contractions while she was putting her garb on. when she got over to me i pushed through another contraction and then on the next one i pushed once, twice, three times and you pushed off my rib one last time and you were out!! at 3:58pm, the dr handed her to me and placed you on my chest. we saw your beautiful perfectly healthy little body and face. you weighed 7lbs 4oz and were 20.5inches long.  from the moment we saw you, we were madly in love and you had us wrapped around your little finger. you were worth every sick moment of pregnancy and every painful contraction. i couldn't believe one moment you were inside me and the next, i was holding this beautiful, perfect human being.  after drying our tears of joy, we couldn't stop staring at you. i felt sick and your dad kept asking me what are we gonna name her.  all i could think about was  puking.  he just kept asking. i said how about wren. i loved that name from the first time i saw it but wasn't until i saw you that i knew that was supposed to be your name. when i told your aunt anna and tricia what your middle name was, they both cried. they were so excited you were named after them.  around four thirty your brother came in and you met him for the first time. he immediately wanted to get on the bed with us and gave you a kiss and i introduced you two. it was love at first sight for him. he instantly was connected and it was so cool to see.

my list of names for you were:

1. ivy
2. holden
3. amelia
4. wren
5. livie
6. evie
7. mila
8. sloan
9. parker

it came down to wren and mila in the delivery room after you were born and we just thought you looked like a wren. also, we didn't want people to pronounce your name wrong if we went with MILA="me"-la.

newborn stats 
november 5, 2012
3:58pm

weight: 7lbs 4oz

length:  20.5"

head circumference:  14.25 inches

clothes size: newborn 

size newborn diapers

this cooing was so soft and sweet. i feel in love with you instantly. you were absolutely beautiful and perfect. i was so happy to finally be holding you in my arms. it was like you were always a part of our family.  

november 6, 2012

going home. 

i love you to the moon and back.

wren self portrait maternity.

29 months.

Beckett,
you are approaching 30 months. your sister has about 3 weeks before she is here and i'm so nervous about having two children. your daddy and i are trying to enjoy every last second with you as an only child. although you probably won't remember being an only child, just know that we absolutely loved every second of it. you are my everything and i hope you always feel special and so very loved. you have changed my life for the better. i couldn't even imagine not having you. you are the coolest little boy i've ever been around. you make me laugh and my heart so happy every single day.  i know you are going to be such a wonderful big brother and help take care of your sister.  although i'm nervous, i'm so very excited for you to have a sibling and i hope you two will be extremely close and always appreciative of family.  you will never acquire another friendship/relationship than, hopefully, what you will have with your sister.
in the last month, here are some things you have done that i don't want to forget.

• anytime we are walking up the stairs you say "mommy, hug" only so i will pick you up and carry you up the stairs instead of you walking. lazy bum :)
• anytime you do something on your own, you get so excited and say, "i did it!" so proud of yourself 
• you love to climb into and hide in the dryer
• you like for me to rock you like a baby and you pretend to cry like a baby
• you love to role play
• dan taught you to say "oda i am" for your halloween costume. you were yoda and daniel was darth vader
• you definitely have shown us what the definition of terrible twos is
• when someone ask you what you are doing, you say "awe, just hangin' out"
• you say "museket" for music
• one day you came over and said, "momma, i'm proud of you"
• you are jumping off of everything. you are even doing 180's off things when you jump
• you say, "what's the matter? i'll kiss it."
• one day you were strumming the guitar and just singing the words, "chicken run, chicken run" over and over
• i gave you a pickle and you said "spicy"
• you love to sing songs when i lie down with you before bedtime. your favorite right now is "good night sweet heart" and you sing all the words
• you lifted my shirt and took your belly and bumped it against mine and said "cheers"
• you like to make a fist and say "pound it"
• how you get out of bed by yourself and come upstairs to our room and say "morning" and one morning you said "merry christmas"
• how you love to sit in your tepee in your room and listen to the christmas book meme and papa recorded for you
• how when you are acting/role playing you will get really big eyes and then smile
• how you like to say you are rango and daddy is snake. rango needs this, rango is this, rango wants that, snake's sleeping, snake's at work, snake's fishing, etc.
• how i went downstairs one morning and you had got out of bed, turned on your tepee light and was just hanging out and reading
• when we asking you what you are doing you say, "just hanging out"
• how you like one of us to play as if we are buzz or woody and you the other
• how you like to give zerberts, especially on my pregnant belly. you say, "sister, zerbert"
• how when you see a pumpkin or anything like that you say, "halloween." you seem to be into halloween this year.
• you love to sing, "Little Bunny Foo Foo" and do all the hand movements. especially when the good fairy comes down you say, "and she said," shake your head and the stuffed animals head no when you say "i don't want to see you" and you love to bop on the head. you just laugh.
• you sing all the words of "you are my sunshine."
• you say, "that's really funny," and "i'm really hungry." especially, when you are stalling for bed
• you love to play chase and tag
• you love for me to say, "on your mark, get set, go" and you take off running and you love it when i announce you being a fast runner. then you run back to me and say, "fast."
• you keep asking to touch the moon
• you say certain foods are "delicious"
• you are cutting teeth #k,t
• we cut your rat tail, daddy made me
• we rode up the gondola with uncle zac for sunset happy hour. you sprained your left ankle while playing and running around with some girls at the top of the mountain. you were dancing to the live reggae music.
• you squirt the tube of toothpaste all over the couch

regardless of your two year old tantrums, we still manage to have a blast with you everyday. you test us every single day but we are just hoping it passes. in the meantime, we have given you spankings with a wooden spoon. we barely even tap your diaper and you say "no spanking." we have tried every avenue of discipline: ignoring it, trying to talk rationally, time out, etc. and the only thing that seems to somewhat work is a little tap on the booty.  so for now, that's our last resort (depending upon how many times you push us and push us) we hate doing it and don't want to. oh dear lord, i sound like my mother, "this hurts me more than it does you." but it's true.

we love you more than anything beckett and always want you to feel that. to the moon and back. 

mommy